June Shaw - Eulogy

Details provided my Graeme Shaw (as he recalls them)

June was born on the 1st of June 1933 to Maud and Norman (Norm) Alderson in Darlington, County Durham, and their only child. She lived in Whitworth Terrace, Spennymoor, County Durham. Her father was a surveyor and her mother an office worker working in Bishop Auckland.

June went to grammar school and should have gone to university, but she decided not to and her first job was a Librarian in Boots. She was initially engaged to a man called Turner, but she split from him and took up with my father, Gordon, from Darlington and they were married on 16 March 1957.

June went to work at a British Rail office known as “Stooperdale Offices” where she made friends with Clu (Muriel Morton), May (Shaw) Sennett (Gordon’s eldest sister), Kath (currently living in Darlington), Annie  & Mag (Margaret Watson).

My mother and father (Gordon) both loved dancing, and this love and passion continued up until my parents were in to their late sixties, early seventies.

I was born “Colin Graeme Shaw” on the 24 April 1967 in Green Bank Hospital in Darlington. Soon after my mother and father and I moved to a small village called Byers Green, nr Spennymoor, County Durham.

When we moved to Byers Green my parents purchased a general dealer (grocer and newsagent shop) along with the village fish and chip shop. After about six years they closed the fish and chips business, converting the shops into normal rooms within the house. They kept the newsagent element of the business, which they ran from the house.

While at Byers Green my mam worked at the Bishop Auckland Technical College (working on pensions and general financial clerk), and then at Durham County Council, in the Building Department.

When my father then took a transfer rather than redundancy from British Rail in 1982, he moved from Shildon railway works to Wolverton railway works and he worked here on his own until I joined in early 1983. My mam followed later in 1984, with her mother, Maud, and mam’s auntie Dora. Maud and Dora (sisters) moved to Two Mile Ash, to be near us. House we moved into as the new family home in Milton Keynes, January 1983 and this is still the family home today.

My father worked for British Rail until he retired, but mam had a few jobs. She worked at Menzies the new agents, where she managed the newsagents outlets on Bletchley and Leighton Buzzard railway stations. She then moved to the Ministry of Defence at Hanslope Park, then to Tarmac Homes in Central Milton Keynes, where she did the invoicing and paying the sub-contractors.

My father broke his hip in August 2012 and was in hospital till he returned home in December that year. He never really recovered and died on the 4th May 2013. This becomes an important date in our family as my mother’s Gran, Mam and Dad all died on 4 May.

My mother has around half-a-dozen godchildren, one of which is Karen daughter of Mag and Wilf, who are long term friends of my parents and Mag & Wilf are my god-father. They still live in Shildon, Country Durham, and they, along with friends such as Pauline and Phil, Beryl & Arnold (Arnold has since passed) were the ones who regularly went dancing together.

Mam’s friends or people who kept in touch
- Thelma and John Armstrong – my mam worked with Thelma at Tarmac Homes
- Mag Watson called regularly and visited whenever possible
- Brenda (mother’s cleaner – but more of a friend)
- Jill (Sometimes referred to as one of the bus ladies, i.e. my mam and dad met her on the local bus)
- Elaine Holes (worked with my mother at Hanslope Park)
- Jan (worked with my mother at Tarmac Homes with Thelma)
- David, Helen and Anne Shaw
- Paul and Linda Smith, who used to go to jazz concerts and shows at The Stables with my mother.
- Satinder (lady) and Surinder were my mother’s neighbours who have lived opposite, and Satinder supported my mother and father in their latter years

The things Mam loved:

- Reading (these were Thrillers, Murder mysteries, Detectives)
- Always had the weekend news papers
-TV programmes like Miss Marple’s. Morse & Death in Paradise (Or as she would say “Murder in the Sun”)
- Crossword puzzles
- Jigsaw puzzles
- Socialising, Talking and chatting, spending hours on telephone catching up.
- Shopping – Bargain hunting as she would say, with fiends such as Jan & Anne Shaw will have vivid memories of their shopping trips.
- Buying presents for people.
- Coffee & Cake at any time, but especially when she was out shopping
- Toffees/Sweets especially chocolate bars like
   - Kit Kat, Twirls & Fruit and Nut as well as anything she could buy from Thornton’s
- Dancing
- Theatre & Jazz
   - She would attend The Stables, whenever she could for Jazz or any show.
Antiques
   - This took up her interest from one of her mother’s fiends Nora, who become close friends after my gran passed away
- Music - especially by
   - Frank Sinatra
   - Lionel Richie
   - The Carpenters
   - Burt Bacharach

From the Care Home:
No doubt people have different memories of June at different stages of her life, but here at Milton Court we always knew she was a colourful character. When reminiscing about her personality, there was one common theme that kept popping up. Even in her darkest moments it was quite evident that she was truly a gentle soul, but she could also be a stubborn person at times. Those two traits didn’t always go together. At times, when she was being persuaded to do something she didn’t particularly want to do, she would naturally lose her temper. She would raise her voice to the member of staff (ever so slightly), and would even hit out on occasion only to apologise immediately afterwards with kisses and cuddles. Sometimes she would tell you she had had enough with a very curt ‘thank you’, her way of saying ‘I’ve had enough now and I’m leaving’ but still remaining polite in doing so. Despite being a gentle soul, she did manage to get a few good whacks in with her walking stick.

Another apparent trait she held was her love for one particular thing. She didn’t have a very big appetite, but there was always one thing she didn’t hesitate in gulping down; chocolate. And this didn’t stop at her own chocolate bars, but extended to any chocolate she found. One night, around midnight, there was a slight commotion in the vicinity of June’s room. Upon investigation, June was not in her room, but next door, invading the person’s chocolate, eating as much as she could. Naturally the staff member guided June out of the room, whereupon June pretended to do as she was told and calmly walk to the door. Then as the member of staff went to guide June out of the room, June said: “After you.” Now outside the room the member of staff was ready to help her out, only to have the door closed behind them. This was one of June’s tricks, and sometimes she would even manage to lock the door from the inside. On top of her gentleness and her stubbornness she also had a mischievous sneaky side to her.

And this mischievous side of her may have been the reason that some people at Milton Court knew that rain wasn’t the only thing you had to worry about falling out of the sky near the building. People knew that June liked to help inanimate objects escape the premises by helping them along their way … straight out of the window and two stories down to whatever lay below. Walking sticks and CDs were among her favourite objects to toss to freedom, but other ornaments, cutlery, items of clothing and a plate were lucky enough to be among the objects to be granted freedom. The plate actually smashed the glass overhead canopy below while June remained oblivious to the damage she had caused. We saw the funny side of it, though we’re not sure the person footing the bill did.

When objects were not “out the window”, they would end up inside the cushions. June would clean up after herself, which is a good thing, but she possibly got a bit confused as to where exactly she should place things. Every now and again a resident or member of staff would sit on a rather lumpy cushion, only to find wrappers, old sweets and mugs lovingly placed inside the cover. Nobody minded too much though, she was only trying to help.

One of the earliest memories the unit manager has of June was her dying swan routines when the GP was visiting. Each day she would be fine without any concerns to her health, but as soon as the doctor was in sight she was suddenly in desperate need for medical attention and she made it her mission to make sure she was seen. Funnily enough she would be well again as soon as the doctor was out of sight. Her dentures were a different matter. We’re sure Graeme was pleased with the appointments they had to attend, and was even more pleased with the dent it made in the bank account as her dentures were another object privileged to have sailed out the open window close to June. Although it couldn’t be helped, I remember the staff dreading having to tell Graeme that the newly acquired dentures were broken again. We felt slightly guilty, but it couldn’t be helped.

Although she did keep staff on their toes at times, the vibe we got from June was that she was a very social lady. As well as being chatty with staff, she formed some lovely relationships with other residents. Sometimes she would pull someone to the side and would tell some rather interesting stories. We weren’t sure of the context or background, but she enjoyed telling them and we would laugh along with her. If she wasn’t talking, she was singing, but giving it her all with a large smile on her face.
June has stamped her name onto many people’s hearts. Her bubbly good-natured personality has provided many smiles, laughs and giggles. Wherever she is headed now, the people of Milton Court send their best wishes and are praying that her next adventure is as joy filled and as jubilant as her time with us.


Poems

Afterglow:

I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways.
Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I'd like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun;
Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.

How did they Live

Not, how did they die, but how did they live?
Not, what did they gain, but what did they give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a person as a person, regardless of birth.

Not, what was their church, nor what was their creed?
But had they befriended those really in need?
Were they ever ready, with a word a good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?

Not, what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when they passed away?

God Looked Around His Garden – Melissa Shreve

God looked around his garden
And found an empty place
He then looked down upon the earth
And saw your tired face.

He put his arms around you
And lifted you to rest.
God's garden must be beautiful,
He always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering
He knew you were in pain
He knew that you would never
Get well on earth again.

He saw the road was getting rough
And the hills were hard to climb.
So he closed your weary eyelids
And said, "Peace be thine".

It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn't go alone.
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.